Stop being a momma's boy. Grow some fucking testicles. Stand up to your fucking mother. Stop this self-indulgent, time-wasting, procrastinating exercise of talking this out on TwoXChromosome. There is nothing to talk out. This is a serious problem. It's your mother. It's your problem to fix. Fix it.

Let me be perfectly clear: The emotional abuse your mom is brutally assaulting your wife with will continues this until you either stop her or your wife leaves you out of emotional distress. So, the only solutions to this situation are: 1) Mom stops, 2) Wife leaves, or 3) Mom leaves. You need to make it perfectly clear to your mom that 2) isn't happening. Ever. And so the remaining options are that she stops immediately, now and forever, or that your relationship with her is over. And if you're not comfortable having that conversation with your mother, to protect your wife, then I don't know what else to say. This is manhood 101.

In case there is any confusion: This is absolutely worth ending a relationship over. Because she is actively trying to end another relationship. So you have to make a choice. Stop the behavior or watch your wife fall to pieces and leave you. The main leverage you have against your mother is to threaten to end your relationship. This situation is more than appropriate enough to apply this severe leverage. Your mother has earned it. And realistically, she isn't giving you any other choice.

She will cry. She will scream. She will bring every emotional attack and tool of manipulation out against you to stop you. Hold your ground. Show stoic resolve. Never show an emotion, because to her, that would be a sign of weakness. Tell her to stop. She stops convincingly. Otherwise, you show her to the door. Cut contact temporarily or forever if you must. And if she continues after you've made it clear you don't want contact, then you get a restraining order. There is absolutely nothing to negotiate with your mom. She stops or she leaves. She leaves willingly or you make her leave. Period.

I love my mom to pieces. My mom has been good to me my entire life. But if she pulled this crap, I would have no problems coming down on her like a ton of bricks. Because it's my wife. That's who you've made the lifelong committment to, to protect and uhold. That's where my loyalty is. That's where your loyalty should be. Do the right thing. Man up. Fix it.