I'm in this situation right now. Without having to read my previous posts + summarizing everything: Things were great up until she started feeling stressed out/having anxiety about my visit a couple months back (which is next week) and said how it started adding pressure to other things going on in her life, so we went from a relationship to a friendship to just being acquaintances between then and earlier this week. Pretty much her retreating more and more the closer the date became. Her issues got in the way/are getting in the way currently from having her open up and see if anything will become of this, and makes her problems one sided as if my schedule isn't busier than hers/more stressful.

After going through all this, I don't know what to expect for my trip. I'm not going into it with any specific outcome. This situation did show me that some issues just can't be solved, that's it's just something they have to figure out for themselves. The depression and personal issues are things that you can just be supportive on and not going into it expecting to fix it right away/at all. Her mood definitely affected what we had, and as much as I wanted to try and help it was/is something she has to work out on her own.

So it's just a factor of if you can manage to stick through it and just remind them that you're here for him. You've already talked to him about your issue about everything and it sucks that he isn't really making that effort. I don't think it's that he doesn't want to but that he's just so involved with dealing with personal issues that he's building up a wall around himself without truly realizing how it's affecting you. When I was in my last relationship (local) I was so stressed out with school, I didn't appreciate her the same way/didn't give her the attention she wanted. I knew I was becoming distant but let the stress eat away at me and caused more problems than there should have been when she was trying to make an effort to stay. I did finally realize how bad it got/tried to fix things but it was too late.

It's just a matter of if you can handle just being supportive and not expecting to fix anything. The only way someone can change is on their own, you can help show them but it's their job to make that change, not yours. Find things to keep your mind occupied and fill up your time, remind him that you care and are there to talk to when he needs someone to be there and just hope for the best. Just try to not have his mood affect your happiness (easier said than done I know, believe me). Good luck!