I don't know how to explain it thoroughly enough without typing out a novel, but basically my husband and I didn't want to go to his family's Christmas gathering this year because someone was going to be there that we can't handle being around, so we went to my parent's instead, and now all of his family is freaking out and accusing him of not loving them, etc. even though we just saw them a couple of months ago, and this was maybe the second time in his life he didn't go to their house for Christmas. I've missed Christmas at my family's almost every year since he and I have been together (10 years) because it was always just assumed that we would be with his family instead, and he would always say that "everyone would be too upset" if I tried to suggest that we go to my family's after he'd already told them we'd be coming. My mom unexpectedly died a few years ago and I didn't even get to spend her last Christmas with her.

He got directly reprimanded and guilt tripped by three of them, and another just ignored his phone calls entirely. Oh, and none of them sent us Christmas cards or gifts or anything despite the fact that we mailed all of them presents. One of them also posted a "nonchalant" facebook status about what family is "supposed to mean" or something like that.

I have no idea how to react or handle this situation, because my family is normal and we don't overreact to simple things or play passive aggressive/guilt trip games or treat fully grown adults like they're bad children who need to be punished when they "misbehave." I'm going to have to see them soon because his sister is due to have a baby, and I know they're going to say some passive aggressive shit to me about all this and I really don't know how I'm supposed to respond without escalating anything when the whole thing makes me feel so mad and disrespected that I want to punch someone in the face.