This story doesn't make me look awesome, but many people have found this to be quite a funny one.

A few years ago, my friend had recently split with his ex-fiancée (she wasn't ready to commit, whatever her reasons were). I'd been keeping an eye on him out of concern, which invariably led to us going out and getting drunk on the weekends.

After a couple of weeks, we went to a bar in town. My buddy knew the DJ, so no waiting around or cover or anything like that, so we were stoked. After awhile, more buddies of ours show up, and we start talking to some girls. One girl in particular who was actually pretty cute started really taking an interest in my friend, and started buying him shots. A LOT of shots. It got to the point where he would just pass them to me and say, 'Fuck dude, I'm way too fucked up to keep this up, you take em'. I happily obliged.

By the end of the night, this girl has spent around $250 bucks getting both of us wasted. We wind up going back to my friend's place along with a couple of other guys. As soon as we get back, they're both upstairs, doing their thing. Me, being the literally most drunk I've ever been, decide to open the door to the bedroom. My friend is knockin' boots with this girl, sees me and yells out, 'YO DUDE, CHECK OUT HOW I GOT THIS ROWDY CHICK BENT OVER!!!!' I observe for a few seconds, before awkward silence kicks in. 'YO MAN, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!' I run back laughing my ass off like the drunken fool I am. I go outside, smoke a cigarette, and return to hear one of the other guys there say, 'Hey dude, that chick said she'd let us join in, bro. But she wants you to be the one who knocks on the door'

'Shut the fuck up dude, she didn't say that'

'No, she really did! Do it man!'

........ 'Alright, fine'

I knock.

Sure enough, she opens the door, butt naked, what seemed like a little bit of a smile on here face, 'Yes?' she says.

I lean up against the doorway like I'm some hot fuckin' shit, and yell out at the top of my lungs 'YOHHHHBISSHHYOUDOWNFOATREEWAY?!?!'

'What's that?'

'ISATREEONONE!!!!'

'Oh, I don't think so...'

'WELL FINE!!! FUGYOUDEN!!!!' and immediately slam the door in her face, go downstairs, and pass out on the couch.

My friend has yet to let me live this down