Reposting this from a comment I made on a similar thread a while ago.

It was an ordinary Thursday night, me and two of my roommates were in the room, roommate #1 was already trying to go to sleep since he had to get up early the next day. Suddenly roommate #3 who is a notorious drunk comes back probably around 1AM knocking into things like his usual self, me and roommate #2 thought nothing of it as this is usual, and we decided to go out across the hall and talk with our neighbors. Neighbors decide to go to bed, so me and roommate #2 head back to our room, and just as we are about to go inside, the fire alarm goes off. We run inside to see our now not-so-asleep roommate #1 scared shitless and the fucking microwave is on fire. Apparently alcoholic roommate put some sort of food in the microwave, with a metal spoon and instead of setting the timer to 20 seconds it was 20 minutes. I grab my cup of water and chuck it into the smoldering food, but unfortunately the fire alarm stays on. Drunk roommate #3 who had headphones on is asleep through all of it. Fire alarm finally is turned off, and roommate #3 takes it as his cue to NOW wake up, STRIP NAKED, and start peeing on everything. Instead of aiming down like a normal human male he is aiming up, spraying piss everywhere like a god damn human mall fountain . I run over to stop him from pissing on not-so-asleep roommates laptop, instantly realizing my mistake as the now naked pissing drunk guy is trying to fight me in my own room. I manage to avoid most of the piss and he ends his assault by falling on his face. I have no idea what to do so I just watch as he gets up, grabs a nearby bed sheet and wraps it around himself as a cloak like the piss vampire that he is, and passes out. The next day he naturally remembered nothing.