throwaway: When my husband died, we found out he was in over a dozen fantasy leagues spending thousands of dollars each season. He had a dozen or more maxed out credit cards, maxed one out in my name for $12,000,he took a second mortgage out on the house, and emptied his 401 K. He only had the life insurance from work and he took the least he could get. So 6 months after he died we lost the house , the car and any credit I had was gone. I had to buy a car at 18% interest and re-establish my own credit. So how come I didn't know this? I don't know...I took care of the kids while he handled the bills. When ever I tried to look at the checkbook , he would give a reason why I couldn't and he had a couple different check books. He had mail sent to a PO box which I didn't know about until later. I blindly gave him my paycheck and thought he was taking care of our future and our kids. Where all the money went, I still don't know...The worst part of all this, my girls thought I was this strong, independent woman and when he died and we lost everything, I was in shock. My girls then saw me as weak and stupid for trusting him.