I am an addict. I was addicted to heroin for 6 years and got sober about three years ago. The only relationships I have had were those that my emotions were void and I never felt a thing except more sex, more drugs and more sex. That's the preface. Relationships are so hard for me now. I wonder if anybody else has the same deal.

I stress out constantly and I am just not used to all these emotions. I want to be happy and I know she does but I worry. I have been fucked over so much. She is the first girl I can actually trust but my past habits sneak up. I self sabotage way too much and then the stress builds. I end up thinking I want to quit being with her because I don't even know why. I lose my mind. Hell, I have cried in front of her a few times. That right there makes me feel so worthless as a man and it really challenges my perception of what a relationship is supposed to me. She didn't fall for me because of my inconsistency as a man and all around foolishness/childishness. I like to be introspective about these things cause I want to be happy and it's just so hard for me.