I have a lot of resentment toward my semi heavy smoking mother. She eventually passed from lung cancer it was almost textbook. The smoking was understandable, hell Ive been hooked off (hopefully for good now) on since teenage days. Im not angry about her smoking she was in all other respects a wonderful mom.
The fucking smoking inside though, in bed, in the kitchen, in the car with the fucking windows closed (bizarre) we had always lived in single story houses in always warm weather socal. With backyards. Sorry im ranting now but you sparked the anger again.
Smoked all through me and sis pregnancy. It was the early 80s (ashtrays still in Mc Ds) but come fucking on. Then hotboxed us in the car and at home. We were upper middle class but started to get a white trashy rep (dads borderline hoarding tendencies didnt help) she was actually pretty anal about cleaning in some respects. But it doesnt matter when everything is TAR YELLOW and reeks like cold ashtray. Just the fucking blinders on her and my doormat dad who slept next to chainsmoking for 25 years despite never even trying a cigarette.
Later we fell on harder economic times and smaller places, i had taken up smoking (of course nicked the first one from her pack) and other teenage assholery. A landlord from the house we lived in for maybe 2 years wanted all the deposit from the poolhall smell. I just remember her balls acting like it was some great injustice. In the mid 90s in a california rental. Not the madmen office. My mom takes up GPCs and the other truly gnarly smelling budget brands instead of quitting or cutting back.
Forward another ten yrs or so. Been out of the house a few years, had quit smoking for the first time since 15. I made it 7 years from then (fuck you law school) and then have been mostly off since then. During my holiday visits home with my live in girlfriend she continued to smoke. When said gf didnt want to stay with us on xmas it got turned into her and her family being "snooty" rather than the real reason.
When my brother had her first grandkids she still smoked on their visits. Or just before like that was better, dont step 10 feet to the backyard or anything. I eventually snapped especially at that and had the unfortunate awful feeling of berating my sweeheart of a mom. I heard she left work for the day after my email. That at least made her smoke outside (at least when I was here) so I didnt feel too awful with my probably wrong approach of tough love. They remodel the living room and the kitchen around this time. Kept smoking in all the yellow rooms and in her beautiful new kitchen. It just was so fucking frustrating.
I go off to law school out of state, middle of first month she gets the diagnosis. Stage 4. She does well, has a remission. Finally quit with chiantix (apparently she had tried everything under the sun including hypnosis, patch is the only thing that works for me) then itcaught up with her about a year later, fast. Had to defer a semester after coming home in the middle of finals. Im now living at home with my father temporarily since moving back to the state. There hasnt been a cig smoked in here in about 5 years. I havent had one in about a year. And it still reeks to me. I cleaned up a couple rooms and they still look gross. Have to rip up the carpets and prob put 8 coats of paint. The wood blinds prob all prob have to be replaced (brown in their room) thats only after about ten years in this place.
So sorry for the rant but ill sum it all up with a TLDR Smoking kills, but i get it as a former, but jesus christ go the fuck outside. Your place could be hospital sterile but if you smoke in it may as well be a (cancerous to third parties) pigsty