I worked at a CompUSA for about 4 years. I met my wife there in fact. I wouldn't trade it as I learned a ton about dealing with people and I credit it partially for why I do well with clients now.   That said we're fucking doomed, people suck ass.   - The ad says you had free computers. - Yeah, we ran out. - Why don't you have enough? - Enough for the whole fucking city man? Yeah that's what we'll do, stock 216,000 absolute shit L2-less Celeron shit boxes in hopes enough people as stupid as you come in and sign up for fucking CompuServe for 3 years to get a $400 rebate. Do you really think this computer is going to last 3 years? It's literally already obsolete. Plus I KNOW your stupid ass didn't read the fine print about the requirement so I have that to look forward to. Just leave lady go home.   - Do you have any scanners? - /sighs Yes. - Can you help me? - Fuck no. Scanners are stupid, they never work and you should just fax or some shit.
- So my Mom has this scanner and we tried to- Get the fuck out of here and put your god damned cart back. No free tech support. And fuck scanners. You're stupid for needing one!   - Can you help me with computers? - Certainly! (I really really liked my job, most of the time) - I want something that can play newer games and I need a lot of storage (I record my own video, NBD), and I want something with a big monitor, a 19" Diamondtron. - Damn that's so awesome, I"m jealous! That's $4,899. That's a lot of money. I don't normally sell this (I don't), but this may actually be a good idea (I genuinely thought it was in some instances). You can cover all this shit here for $3.75 for 7 years. That's Platinum son. Covered, never worry. Call us 24/7. We send a chopper. - Wow that's awesome, you can throw that in right? - No fuck stick. This shit's like .011% markup already, I'm only getting paid if you buy this warranty and then it's like an $8! Fucking just buy that shit. I should charge you double. I wish I was at the fucking PDA counter selling Treos and Visors.   - Can you help me with computers? - Certainly! (again...) - So my son and I are getting into gaming. Halo's coming, new UT.
- Right? We're stoked too, a lot of us play together. - Right on! So yeah we want 2 pretty dope PCs and probably 17-19" flat CRTs. - Good choice man! - So yeah load us up, but can you keep it under like...$1,200? - ...for the monitor or...? Dumbass what do you think I can do here. This PC alone is like $2,899, and it's not even the new P3-600 action, "just" 550! What do YOU mean when you say "high-end"?   Dude that came in EVERY week for 4 years and talked me up for 30+ minutes. You know who he is, you and your buddies juggle him around on slow nights (phrasing). Fuck you pal for never buying so much as a god damn 5-port hub.
  - Hi I'd like to return this. - /me looks curiously at mangled box - I just got it. - Mmmm hmmm. So why's the fucking cardboard all worn? Why is there like zero packaging, except that one piece of styrofoam corner there? Oh and no receipt. OK man. Get the fuck out of here!   We closed at 9PM. 8:59:58.878: - Hey Sir we're closing up. - Oh hey! Can you help me with scanners? Fuck you dude no. I have a Q3A LAN party to go to. And someone got bnetd runnin' on a spare toaster. WC3 beta! GET OUT!   - Hey can you help me with Macs? - No, Macs sucks. - You can run Windows on them. - Well it runs like fucking shit man, and you certainly won't be gaming on it. - Ugh! Macs are SO much better. - Is that why you're here playing no fucking games? Fuck you dude. You hang out in this tiny portion of our store with nice carpet and talk to our customers all day about why Windows sucks. Get out of here!   Customer playing on the new-ass Dreamcast demo console. You know what I mean, C-C-C-Crazy Taxi! - You been here all day on this thing. Dude get the fuck out of here, my turn. I been watching from the Mac section for like an hour.   - Do you work here? - Look at this shitty-fitting red shirt, this name tag that's obviously been in a blender or something, and these shitty khakis. Of course I work here. Is it because I'm happy that you were confused?   What do you want? I just want to go check out the cute chick at the business desk.   Wouldn't trade it.