I can't afford BF1.. and I'm afraid that if I could I would be so outclassed by everyone that I wouldn't be able to have as much fun as the game looks like it is. This is what happened when I played BF1942.. or Star Wars Battlefront second-hand, now it sits on a shelf and I feel sad when I notice it and the dust it's collected because I can't seem to do anything but die & hinder my team. Never really mentioned this to anyone before.

I love video games and I've been playing them for as long as I can remember, about 22 years? My mom got me the original Nintendo when I was 5 or 6.. But I think something must be wrong with me, because I've never felt successful in any of the games I've played. From Bugs Bunny's Crazy Castle to Destiny or WoW, I feel like a loser compared to everyone else. Every once in a while I'll do wel at something, but it seems like a 1:1000 circumstance.

Could I be doing something fundamentally wrong? I don't think I'm holding the controllers upside down or anything. Something wrong with my brain that doesn't allow me to focus when looking at a screen? Maybe it's universal punishment for unwittingly being a rotten spirit at my core, even though I always think I'm doing the right thing, and I know if I'm not and that makes me feel awful.. but Hitler thought he was doing the right thing too, no?

Sorry for the long comment, if you have anything to say about this I'd appreciate it. I have a feeling this whole thing of mine is just dumb and I'd have a much better idea of what in the world is going on in general if I could switch bodies with another person for even a day.