I talked to my roommate when we got back from the holidays and she became even more unreasonable. She felt that she was being very accommodating by having him over even once a month and that if it were up to her, he would not come at all and not have any visitors. I tried to meet her halfway as a compromise and told her that for the remaining time on our lease, he would come mostly once a month but a less than half of the months, he would come twice and I would definitely let her know in advance. She said no and said that she felt that him being here a second weekend was unfair to her because he was using her resources (internet and electricity). She said that if he comes a second time in a month, he would have to pay her, $50/night. At first, I was pretty upset and did not want to give in to her demand. I asked her what exactly was it that made her feel uncomfortable. We are barely home and he's been nothing but nice to her. Her bought her a bottle of wine before the holidays, on his own accord; it was not my idea. She said it wasn't "him" but the idea of having an extra person in the apartment makes her feel like she can't relax. I said that we'd stay in my room when we were home except when going to the bathroom (prior weekends we'd watch TV in the living room sometimes). She insisted that she did not want him around for more than one weekend a month. I told her I would think about her proposal and she should think about my compromise and get back to each other. I went to my room and immediately after she told me she was didn't think my compromise was good enough and that if he came a second weekend, she felt she would be adequately compensated at $100/night. She said that it wasn't her fault that I was in a long distance relationship and that since he is an adult and has a job, he can pay and that I'm an adult and can manage just to have him here once a month. At this point, it was late and I said I would have to talk to her about this another day. I didn't see an resolution at that point.

I really tried to think about her perspective and maybe she feels very uncomfortable around men, which I can understand. Her past roommates have been older/elderly women who did not have guests. I thought I was being reasonable with my compromise but still wanted to try and respect her. I was willing to come up with a number that was fair and equitable. I decided to divide the rent by 30 days, divide that daily number by three (number of occupants that night) and add some money for utilities which would come up to $40/night.

I decided it would be a good idea to draft a roommate agreement because verbal agreements have no worked out for us. I told her I'd bring a copy home and we can discuss details and sign. When I presented it to her to review, she refused to look at it and didn't want to sign an agreement, citing that she doesn't have problems other than the overnight guest thing and if there are cleaning issues, I should just talk to her. I told her she can read it over and get back to me and then we can discuss details and not sign anything unless we both agree on the contents. The roommate agreement is pretty standard with a section on rent, utilities, household rules, overnight guests, security deposit and early termination of tenancy. She said she didn't want to sign anything and that she just wanted to talk about it. I expressed that I feel more comfortable having something in writing and that I wasn't agreeing to anything that wasn't in writing and signed. I also said that we should not have more than one guest at a time. She said that she wouldn't agree to that rule because her sister might visit with her sister's boyfriend, because she would definitely bring him too. Our apartment is not that big and I said I think more than one would be squishy. She said that they would both sleep in her room (this completely confused me because 1. at the beginning of the lease, she complained that her room was much smaller than mine and that she should pay less rent and 2. I thought she was uncomfortable around guys, even if she is close with her sister's boyfriend, that's still weird?). She also thought that my proposal of $40/night was too low and that she wants $90/night. I thought that this was too high and it was really kind of arbitrary and not based on any logic or numbers, and she said she didn't care, that's the number that she feels most adequately compensates for invading her space.

Am I missing something here? Am I trying to reason with an unreasonable person or am I really not considering her feelings?