I can't contribute in a sense of suicide.

But a story nonetheless.

I was a bully, who did it because I was being bullied, a span of three years (fourth fifth and sixth)

Mainly because I had a nose picking problem still at the time, I was late bloomer to kick the habit (finally did towards the end of 6th grade)

A few guys did it to me, a couple females..mainly the popular ones, I don't hold them too accountable, social norms and undereducated etc... they made my life miserable, I would cry in class a lot, didn't really have many friends, hung out with other social outcasts.

I'd get beaten up here and there as well (stood up to one of the bullies one day and beat him senseless and he was scared of me since).

I was getting to my boiling point, I hated myself..I hated my bullies, but I picked the same avenue as my offenders.

I became a bully.

I'm in 6th grade, towards the middle of the school year.

I see this 4th grader, I wasn't even sure if she was an outcast or anything..just seemed weird to me at the time.

I decided she was going to be my fix, I treated this girl horribly..I would taunt her, call her names, put her down.

I even got physical, I would push and shove her around, I think I may have even punched her here and there.

I was so horrible to this poor girl that she would freak and get timid at the sight of me, she ended up getting teacher escorts a lot of the time.

Holy hell well I'm 27 now so this was 98-99 I believe.

I can't quote the year exactly but I believe in either 2007 or 2008..maybe a bit later, I ended up browsing facebook for kids I grew up with.

I found her....I really just..found her..holy fucking shit..

My heart sank...it sank bad..all of what I did to her came back at once and I almost had a panic attack over it.

I ended up crying profusely for the better part of 40-45 minutes....I had..HAD to repent for myself to her.

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I went the extra mile, it would put urasin bolt to shame, I must have written a quarter novel before I even finished.

Explaining to her my situation at the time, she didn't deserve it, saying that I feel absolutely horrible for being such a fuck to her ..and she most definitely felt even worse at the time.

I was just typing..seemingly endlessly, praying that this message connects to her.

Didn't even take that long...maybe 3-4 days later I see a message notification, it's her.

She...she forgave me..she just...understood and was just the sweetest and most humble person to what I told her, despite the hell I put her through.

I ended up crying again...

We have since been friends and still talk to this day.

<3 you shawna, I made a blessed friend and you are the real mvp, may you have a beautiful life.