I'm only 21. I've had UC since I was ten with bunches of abnormal complications which ultimately led two major surgeries and more complications. I was "fine" for about a year of my life but then I was finally diagnosed with 2 types of arthritis (I had been dealing with that pain since 13.it just never became priority). Now at this point I'm bed ridden from pain and have been coming up on a year now. Being no stranger of hospitals I'm used to the majority of this now. People trying to tend to me even though I feel my last bit of my sanity is kept by me holding onto some dignity and being and to take care of myself. I find that plenty easier to deal with that than when I explain I can't do something due to not feeling well or that it's physically impossible for me and I'm looked at like I'm a stand up comedian blowing a big joke.
Like at school I normally left when I needed to. No warning, just gone. I was requested to sign a sheet if it's possible for me to take the time and manage to go to the college office (doing high school and college classes). Well I ended up having to skip 2 days due to being unable to drive because of the pain I'm in. (I drive manual). Anyways I get to school the next day a bit late due to having to drive slow cause I'm on pain medication and if I was going to fast in an emergency situation and I winced from pain instead of what I need to do, then I'm screwed along with who ever. Once I'm in the office this receptionist who thinks she's in the end all be all position starts drilling me with questions and telling me "Well boy you don't look sick to me! I'm going to get your guidance counselor." (Guidance counselor in this course was practically the last word for anything. I was/am good friends with her and she knows my background.) I've been going off on this lady too, I'm no stranger to being an asshole. Tell her to give me the fucking sign in sheet and call the counselor cause I want to report her for ridiculing me, lecturing me and trying to punish me when she is far from a position to do so. (She was fairly new, just over a month. And was trying to make a name for herself as being a rough and tough bosslady with a Jamaican accent. Doing shit like if she needed to bring a note to someone in class, she'd do that, then stop the entire class and lecture us on whatever the hell she could pull out her ass and then leave after 15mins or so.) My counselor heard my name and immediately came out to see me. And in front of the Secretary I explained all that was going on, the woman was wide mouthed, stunned. She obviously had no idea I wouldn't be walked on and had a good 1-1 relationship 1with the counselor. She didn't deny anything cause I didn't lie. Ending up I never saw her in that office again. She was moved to some rinkydink position in the literal back of the school. Apparently she had been convinced that the 3 people in my classes that are legitimately disabled were all a bunch of no life liars trying to slide by on everything.
Out of anything else I absolutely hate is when someone acts as if I don't have problems. They may not be cancer or whatever, but they seriously hinder me from having a normal life and being highly active how I'd love to be. People see me as 21 at peak physical fitness. I'll get told to carry heavy things or go somewhere requiring alot of walking just cause I'm a young male. It irritates me to no end. Even if someone is politely acting like they don't see me walking funny or in able to lift heavy objects. Who knows? I could have a chance to become close with that person and maybe sometimes it's help to vent about a little. Everyone needs someone they can do that with.
It's definitely much better to know and acknowledge that a problem exists, but find a mature way to do so and never make it a joke or downplay it. Saying things like "Well atleast it's only *blah blah blah" or "There are other people out there who've got it much worse. Be thankful you aren't one of them" Things like that invalidate their feelings and makes their situation seem pathetic and any feelings they've had over their problem up to that time as ridiculous. It's a thin line to walk on but it gets easier to understand what should and shouldn't be said overtime. It gets easier.
I'm sorry for this being long. I just wanted to share a bit of my experience and a view of the other decision from the disabled's point of view