I didn't make many friends at university - not because I get in arguments (I'm generally chilled) but because I didn't like to go out much. Pubs and clubs weren't really my thing so outside of seminars and lectures I didn't see many people.

My housemate and I made friends with a girl on our course and she was one of the nicest people you could hope to meet. Didn't know anyone who had a bad things to say about her and I was really glad I could consider her a friend. She was always round our place and we'd joke, game, just hang out in general. My housemate developed a massive crush on her but she had a boyfriend so she didn't act on it.

During our third year of university, and I'll always remember the day because it's my brother's birthday, I came home from the gym to the house having a very solemn feel to it. My housemate said she was dead. He said he didn't know how to tell me so he just had to come out with it. We found out she overdosed. Whether intentional or not we'll never know, but she induced a lot of alcohol and pills. Her housemate found her about half a day after they estimate she did it.

It really hit me hard, but not as hard as it hit my housemate - by this point he was practically in love with her. He'd built up this Utopian vision in his head where they would end up together. So I had to stay strong for him, and that was so hard. I went to visit my girlfriend soon afterwards (she went to a different university) and I just broke down. One of my few friends, gone in an instant.

How has it affected me? My brother has had 3 birthdays since that event and I've not been mentally present at any of the celebrations. It made me question my own mortality. Whilst time has passed I still remember and care about her, but I don't get as sad any more.

It was the worst time of my life to date, it affected my grades and really shook me. But some good did come of it if you want to look for a silver lining. It made my (former) housemate and I much closer. I consider him like a brother now.

It's also made me much more outgoing. I remember at her funeral there were well over 200 people. The church ran out of seating and there was no end to the people there who wanted to pay their respects. It made me wonder what sort of mark I would leave when I was gone, and I didn't want to suffer a similar fate to my grandfather, who barely had ten people attend his funeral.

So some good and bad has come from it, but not a day goes by that I wish it never happened.