My cousin shot himself July 2006. It was definitely hard for my entire family, definitely my aunt for obvious reasons. I remember I was out with friends when I got a call from my dad telling me to come home in a very calm voice. This was right after I had told my girlfriend, who I ended up dating all throughout high school, I loved her. So I was very reluctant to come home. When I walked into the living room he was sitting on the couch and told me to sit down. I thought for sure I was in some kind of serious trouble.

After I told me the news about my cousin, I was shocked to say the very least. He wasn't depressed and also seemed like a happy go lucky kid. He was also 13 and one of two cousins I had on my dads side of the family. He asked me how I felt and I told him I was fine. I was still processing it and couldn't really believe it was real. He told me he was home alone while his mom was at work and grabbed the gun out of his mom's boyfriends drawer and shot himself in his room.

I just sat there for a while and then went into my room. There I called my girlfriends do told her about the news I had just gotten. She was very apologetic and supportive. We hung up telling each other we loved each other again and I went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning in a haze and walked out to my kitchen and saw various pictures off him on the counter, but there was one I just stared at for what felt like forever. It was a picture of us that was taken of him, my brother, and I at our grandmothers house a month before. After staring at it for a bit I asked my dad if he could drive me back to my friends house. He did.

Once I got to my friends house my girlfriend and all my friends were there still from the night before. They all looked at me very concerned. I then walked over to my girlfriend and just collapsed and cried for what felt like hours. It was definitely the worst day of my life. I now have a tattoo on my right arm that says "life is a gift" to remind me that no matter how hard things get, I am still blessed to be on this earth.

I think the worst part of the whole situation was that since my family aren't the most financially well off my aunt couldn't afford a profession crew to clean the aftermath of what my cousin had done. So both my father and my older cousin, his older brother, were left to do it. I can't tell you how much respect I have for my father for doing that. I couldn't imagine being in the situation he was put in. He is my hero.