k, throwaway, and this is gonna get buried too, but here goes. I'd just like to chime in. I'll make it short. I'm moderately attractive, and for some reason or another, I've also had plenty of sex and out there relationships, complete with two-girl threesomes and stuff. I remember lying in the bed of an apartment in Barcelona, that I had borrowed from a worldly family friend, complete with ancient etruscan statues and a drawing of picasso hanging in the entrance. Well I was lying there and had just had sex for the third time that day, with the second woman, an american tourist. I was 24. Cue extreme confidence ever since then. Also, ever since some time around then, the pursuit of sex for its own sake has been less of a priority. Which for some weird reason makes you extremely attractive on top of your physicality.
Well, to sum it up, I've been lucky enough to have grown into being attractive after 20, and also have used the motivation, or ambition, of not being on-top socially in hi-school to have become some sort of modern hemingway-type, complete with war experience and journal and newspaper articles (hemingway in his 20-30s mind, not the old grumpy one). Of course, chicks dig that shit hard.
Now the problem. I'm coincidentally also intelligent and work hard. In my field of study, I am superior to most of my fellow students and classmates. Like having worked with 5 different professors and currently co-writing a book with one of them superior.
I've experienced a lot of jealousy. Everything from a guy I argued with once beforehand, who when sitting in an audience and listening to me talk about my work experience (which is 3x more employable and cool than his own) almost ran out while breathing violently and angrily when my talk finished...
to the prettiest girl in my class not understanding why I wouldn't engage her, since she wanted to jump branches from her then-current guy, and then, along with her gang, shaming me, and since that didn't work simply tell me some day at a party that "I have too high standards". Lol coming from a girl, who is over-aware of her own value, to a guy, especially considering she didn't have that much to offer intellectually. Seeing her squirm and trying to make me jealous through dancing with some poor sod, while staring at me, with a look of anger and "why-doesn't-this-work" felt mildly satisfying.
But besides getting a lot of first-hand experience with female hypocrisy (which can be massive), the jealousy thing even happens with good friends, mostly if they are also in my professional circle. I honestly don't know what to do about it.
From the above, I might sound like a pretentious tool, but it's reddit so I don't care about stating the facts. In real life, I have tried to be oh so very accommodating, but with some people I've known for several years, I basically can't even mention being happy about a student job I got or handing in an assignment without them answering with the mute and uncomfortable face of jealousy. I basically can't make a small misstep socially without people jumping up and down about it.
I don't know if this is something related to higher-tier male circles, but it's annoying having to silently leave people out of your life you thought were your friends, but whom you either catch talking behind your back or, for example this one guy who proceeds to invite my three rommates to his party, but not me, even though we are/ were the same group always hanging out.
The same guy has apparently ( i find out now) always hated me ever since a party where I kissed a girl, he was interested in. I had no idea, but he felt it was okay to yell at me for ten minutes for doing so. Our group was heading to a bar together, but I said goodbye to the girl and let him go do his thing since it meant so much to him. It ended with him trying to kiss her at the bar, get rejected awkwardly, and then I ended dating the girl. On top of that, he was seeing someone else when his freakout on me took place. If you are a guy with a certain level of self-absorption, (ivy-league kind), there's no remedying that shit.
So i don't know what to say really, other than we are truly monkeys, and being attractive and smart at the same time, as a guy at least, leaves you ample chance to see this in vivo. Of course I wouldn't trade it for mediocrity, that would suck ass. Regarding tips for guys, just work out three times a week, eat healthy and get some confidence by traveling abroad, works wonders.