My sister and BIL had a house built in a development. It was a wooded area before, no previous homes. They replaced the locks immediately upon moving in, paranoid about any of the builders having a set. I ended up living with them for a year. Things would go missing, find them in odd spots days later. Assumed someone moved it and forgot doing so. One time they went on vacation so I was home alone. I was getting ready to go to work, double checked all doors and windows were locked (it was a hot August day, they had all been open earlier.) I used the last of the TP upstairs & rushed out the door for work. I made sure the front door was locked before heading down the street. I get home after my eight hour shift, use the bathroom upstairs then take a shower. I grabbed my laundry and go downstairs to do my clothes. While standing in the utility room, I realize that I never went back upstairs to replace the TP before I left for work. I distinctly remember that. How the hell was there a brand new roll in there? That's when I clearly heard footsteps directly above me. It sounded like boots on hardwood floor. No one else should have been in the house, and the room above me was carpeted. I freak out, thinking somebody must have broken in. I ran across the street to the neighbor, a cop, who is unloading groceries from his car. He drops the groceries, tells his wife to call the sheriffs department, grabs his gun ftom his glove box and runs over to the house. This exchange took maybe 45 seconds total, in complete view of the front door. He comes out about five minutes later and asks if I'm sure someone was in the house. I tell him I heard footsteps above me, I know the difference in a house settling and footsteps. He says that everything is locked up and there's no one in the house. The sheriff's department get there and check also, nobody's in the house. They take me in the house and do the usual "is anything missing or out of place?" Nope, besides that roll of TP. I got stared at for that, and I know it sounds crazy, but I did NOT go back upstairs before I left, and I went immediately upstairs when I got home. I insist that they check under the beds, in the closets, in the attic and the crawlspace before I agree that nobody could possibly be in the house. I refused to stay there alone after that, made two friends come over and stay with me while my sister and BIL were gone.

But seriously, where the fuck did the TOILET PAPER COME FROM!?