In the longest abusive relationship that I was in, he would r*pe me often, hit me, isolate me from friends while befriending my family and he would gaslight me and it was easier, I imagine, because he was drugging me periodically so I had moments of being lucid and clear and then moments of not remembering anything but I didn't drink alcohol or do drugs. Got away by moving away. We weren't living together fully so I had a life change (career/etc) which allowed me to have a reason to have to move states -- he couldn't leave his job so he planned on me moving back in 3 mo and I agreed but never went back. I blocked him on everything which helped but in an attempt to keep him from visiting me or finding me, I ended up in a few other controlling/abusive (but less than the first) relationships. Thankfully, with therapy and another big move, I am engaged and generally, happy with my SO.