I tried in 3rd grade by trying to chop the big muscle under the wrist.

After my mom got me from school we visited the abandoned house where i lived before, i was in the kitchen when my mom got into the car, i had a uniform that was small for me so it took some time to roll the left sleeve up, i put my left arm on the table, got the biggest knife i found and tried to chop like i was using an axe, but it didn't cut at all, my mom told me to get into the car without coming, i put the knife back, rolled down my sleeve and got into the car like nothing happened. I thought that i'd go to the sink and let my blood flow out. (I will NEVER tell this to anyone irl)

My mental health became better, i think because i didn't gave a flying fuck about anything except what i was crafting/making.

Not related ( i just wanted to vent this out) :

2/3 months before the 8th grade exam i started to study things i had to from 5th to 8th grade. My sister helped me a lot with the language but after studying with her each time i felt useless, very stupid and like a burden. One time i thought that if i would not study and fail in highschool then i would've wasted all that time she spent with me, my mom only wanted me to get a good grade. Before the day that i received the results i had a dream where i was in my town, chased by someone, i hid a baseball bat/knife in the other side of the town and had to get it to beat him so he wouldn't beat me, when i was like 10 meters away from the place where i hid it my mom came from nowhere and forced me to get into the car, we drove to a tall, old, gothic house and we got into it, my mom just stayed somewhere, i was furious because i had no choice but to do what my mom wanted. After my mom woke me up almost shouting at me to look at the results or to give me the code (i had a code that i would write on the school's site to find my results). After she looked she became very happy and i realised that my mom was like how she was in my dream, only caring about things that i'm doing and not me at all