I tried to overdose on norco and oxy. About 60 pills total, washed down with vodka. I went to lie down to fall asleep and saw my girlfriend look at me and then turn back to watching netflix. I considered telling her what I just did, but let it go, thinking it was better this way for myself and others. I felt regret that I took the opportunity then, and that I would seem so callous of her feelings in the future, but felt she would move on and forget her selfish dead boyfriend in time. I considered walking out to some secluded location to avoid the hurt she would come to when she woke to a cold corpse next to her, but by then my thoughts were getting fuzzy and my body felt too relaxed to move. I closed my eyes and felt relief that I wouldn't need to open them again. I woke up hours later, nauseous, and stumbled to the bathroom to vomit. Only after I noticed the strange coloration did I remember what I had tried to do. "Are you fucking kidding me?!" I sat down at the computer and tried to piece together why I was still alive. About halfway into a match online I figured I just didn't research how to off myself properly and laughed at how bad at life I was. I vomited into a wastebasket a couple more times and considered that maybe if my body wanted me to live that badly I could give it all another shot. I also hate how vodka tastes now.