Just remind myself why I'm still going. I have a mom, brothers, and sister to stick around for. And I'd rather spend every day in hell than hurt them. The bad will be easier some days. And if you're gonna spend every day burning alive then may as well stop belly aching about it and stop wishing for the days you weren't burning. You adapt. My mental health is the worst it's ever been in my life and I have a way better reason to kill myself than I ever have had, but I'm the furthest I've ever been from killing myself. I function better than ever too despite being under 2000x more mental pressure. Maybe once my cat and my family are all dead, I'll just quietly disappear, but until then it's just not an option. And even after they're gone I can't kill myself because I won't throw away the years my mom gave up to raise me. She sacrificed way too much for me to squander it selfishly. Find anchors. If you have a good anchor even being burned alive and gutted won't push you over the edge. Even just a cat or dog. Just find something. It's okay to live for someone else if you can't live for yourself yet. Keep finding new anchors. And someday you might just be able to live for yourself. Good luck man.