What I'm about to share with you is a hazy memory. I don't completely remember what happened.

Years ago, during a High School geometry class, one of our peers decided to bring a gun to school. He was a friendly, albeit quiet kid, always sat in the corner or by a window. Either way, we had talked before, shared notes, and we had always gotten along, even getting into some animated conversations about video games and what-not. I liked him a lot and considered him an acquaintance, maybe even a friend.

But for reasons I found out about later, he decided to bring his father's pistol to school. He pulled it out in the middle of the lecture and grabbed my friend. We was unstable and talking about how people were coming to hurt him and wanted to eat his dog. He kept saying shit about that over and over.

The girl he had taken hostage was my best friend. We had known each other for about 8 years at that point. I remember being scared, but mostly, I remember a boiling anger. I didn't want to kill anyone, but I felt like screaming. I was an angst-y, severely depressed teen already at that point, and the fact that my friend might die right in front of me was too much.

After that, I don't remember all the details. I believe someone in the classroom was able to contact the police, while the teacher tried to calmly talk to the unstable kid to drag out time before he hurt anyone. Because of this, the police made it, but memory is still hazy there.

When a police woman arrived along with about six others who were outside the room, she talked the kid down and convinced him to let go of the hostage. But he wouldn't let go of the gun, which was still pointed at my friends head and the last thing I remember is his finger slowly squeezing the trigger, about to shoot my best friend.

The next thing I know, I wake up in a hospital bed. Apparently, I charged the kid with the gun, who wheeled around and shot me in the shoulder. But I kept running at him, and I hit him as hard as I could. I hit him in the temple, and he died. I can't explain how I killed somebody in a single hit, seeing as I do not work out, and I'm female. I can only assume it was an adrenaline rush.

As for the aftermath from a legal perspective, I wasn't charged. Not only was I a minor, he was about to kill someone. Several people have told me I 'did the right thing.' I don't feel that way at all.

I wish there was some way that could've ended peacefully, but looking back, there probably wasn't. It still doesn't stop me from feeling like shit, though. I had nightmares and I even attempted suicide a few months after the fact.

It wasn't easy putting what I've done behind me, but I'm getting there.