I'm still in the process of accepting this truth, but here it goes.

Even if I do not have an understanding of emotions does not mean others are in the same boat. I have to sit there, and try my hardest to be empathetic to whoever I am with at the moment. I also don't really care about other people in the sense that if a stranger was starting to have a heart attack I would probably just continue with my own business, and part of me hopes someone would do the same if I was in that position.

Death never really bothered me either. I lost my great grandmother who I was really close to along with my dog both of which I knew all my life. I felt really nothing, and still don't. There are some days where I might remember how my dog would do something stupid like run into the sliding glass door when she saw a squirrel, or how fun it was to paint china with my great grandmother. Now my grandfather is dying, and I feel sort of an ass for not really knowing how to feel about it. I'm no means happy that it is happening, but I am not sad or distraught. Hell maybe I am. I can't describe a single feeling I have and it sucks.

So now all I want to do at the end of a day is drink myself to sleep. At least then I feel something nice.