I know you updated that you are going to try and set things and motion but if you second guess yourself, I hope this helps you.

I have been in a similar situation with my boyfriend. We have been seeing each other for nearly three years. We have been going through this battle that long. The first year it was just physical but after that we fell in love and he is genuinely happy with me. We enjoy all the same things and I care for him and love him like a woman should. He is glued to his wife for a similar situation, and after all the emotional turmoil she has caused. I have started to detach. I love him with every bit of my being and would give the world for a lifetime with him, but me not being able to marry him and start a family because he is indecisive and stuck where he is at has hurt me so badly. I understand what he's going through and your story makes me understand even more, but at the same time I feel like I'm a side piece as a result. There has been so much resentment that has built up over time because of that and her doing this to him, so he feels guilty and chooses to do things with her instead. I know our situation is wrong in most eyes, but we found something in each other that changed the both of our lives for the better, and I have experienced great happiness and unconditional love since he came into my life. Even if he does manage to get away, I worry that because even the minimal damage this has done, that it could ruin our relationship. So if you ever hesitate or second guess yourself when leaving.. dont. Her mental issues is her own problem, and if you really love this other girl, leave and be with her. Don't push leaving off any further. I know it must be very hard but your happiness trumps the other girls. You cannot live in misery because she cannot be happy with herself. If this girl is the one you love, don't make her wait. Take the next step and start your life with her. The rest is not your responsibility. I hope this helps. Unfortunately in my situation I have nearly lost all hope that he will be able to walk away, and it is the most awful feeling. To love someone so much and have it not work out. Not because you had a bad relationship or bad feelings toward one another, but because they cannot put their happiness first but were not strong enough to walk away when they really needed to. So walk away from that very unhealthy situation and live your life with happiness. It is much too short to do otherwise.