Probably no one will see this, but this story is simultaneously funny to me and eats away at me. I like to get it out every so often.

I downed a bunch of vodka and xanax one night, alone in my apartment. I had been incredibly depressed for a long time, and although I wasn't necessarily trying to kill myself, I was kind of... okay with it if it happened, I guess? I just wanted oblivion in any way I could find it.

My boyfriend (now fiance) came over and kept me awake. I was really out of it but refused to go to the hospital. I don't remember much, of course.

The next day I called my dad and told him I had something important to tell him. He said he had something important to tell me too. He came over and picked me up, and then we went and parked in a Hasting's parking lot.

I told him that the night before I had tried to kill myself, and that I wanted to voluntarily commit myself to a psych ward. I'd discussed it with my therapist, and she'd recommended some out of state residential places. My dad responded by saying that he was willing to pay for it, but that would use up my college fund. So he told me I had to choose between college and a psych ward. (This wasn't true, by the way. My parents are well off enough that they could have afforded both).

Then my dad told me his important news; my mom was going to rehab the next day. This BLINDSIDED me in a way I cannot describe. My mom was a former alcoholic who hadn't had a drink in 20 years. Apparently she was popping benzos for 4 YEARS without us noticing. Her behavior was weird, but my dad and I basically chalked it up to her... unconventional personality. (My relationship with my mom is a whole other sob story). But her coworkers noticed her increasingly erratic behavior and her bosses confronted her told her that she could either go to rehab or lose her job.

So yeah. I had just tried to kill myself, I apparently could either get an education or go to the Crazy Palace, and my mom was secretly a drug addict. Also I was in a Hasting's parking lot.

And that's the story of the worst day of my life.

Epilogue: I still struggle with depression, but I am overall a happy and positive person now with a bright future. I live with my fiance and our two dogs. I have a teaching certificate and I get to spend my life teaching kids and helping them and giving them support. My mom got clean and has been sober now for 4 years. My relationship with my parents is still rocky, but it's a hell of a lot better now than it was when my mom was using. Happy ending!