I've only just come to terms with the fact that I was raped this summer, and I told my therapist on Monday. That was the first time I told someone in person/someone who knows me. This entire week I've been a wreck, my mind keeps going back to that night and I feel an immense amount of guilt and shame.

At the same time I'm frustrated because this has been a really hard year and it feels so unfair. It started off with emergency surgery the first week of January and three infections as a consequence, followed by my heart being broken, then I went into a spiral of depression and suicidal thoughts, I was forced to move out of my old apartment very suddenly, the rape happened, and on top of that I've been very lonely lately.

2018 sucks. The only good and stable thing this year has been my academic life.