Classy best shortstop in baseball, Derek Jeter, is mortified after she gets carried away and admits to her friend, Gavin Cecchini, that she longs to experiment with BDSM. Whatever must he think of her now?

Gavin is a bold best prospect in baseball from Queens, who also happens to be a dangerous vampire. He is 69 with lucious, brown hair, a 420 figure and dagger-like fangs. Despite the undeniable threat to her life, Derek finds herself unable to stop picturing Gavin's humongous abs and horse dong, fantasising nightly about submitting to his deepest desires.

One evening, Derek spots Gavin flirting with the vile Trout, Mike Trout. Damn that Trout with her overrated body and overrated boobs. Derek tortures herself with thoughts of Gavin easing his fist into Trout's woo-woo. Derek's desperate ambition to become Gavin's sex slave begins to feel like nothing more than a dumb fantasy. Perhaps she should focus her lust on her dreamy RBI Machine, Daniel Murphy ...

However, when Derek gets home that night, Gavin sneaks up on her from the shadows and fervently caresses her jeterous boobs with his hungry hands, before dragging her into the bedroom where he puts a ball-gag in her mouth and ties it tight. She delights as her dirtiest dreams begin to come true. Gavin takes her on a journey of spanking and passionate fisting.

One night, after a thorough handcuffing, Derek fights back, testing how far she can push her undead lover. Defiantly, she tries to gag him. Furious, Gavin takes Derek to a crypt. At first she thinks he is going to bite her, but instead he works his man-sword into her chocolate starfish and then puts horsey ears on her head.

As Derek lies in bed afterwards, enjoying the errors Gavin has prepared for her, and reminiscing over the evening, she feels that they are finally connecting on a human level. (Also, she is less hungry.)

However, as Gavin's desires get darker still, he reveals that he has a very special task in mind for Derek, involving a really tiny strap-on, which he whips out with a look of pure glee. Derek studies the piddly little dong attached to a black harness with trepidation - does he really want her to do him with THAT? She looks into Gavin's intense, yellow eyes and shudders.

Will Derek be able to fully submit to Gavin, or is the horse-donged vampire going to go too far?