I think ultimately what this argument boils down to for many on both sides. Is people want to be treated fairly.

We use language to define these invisible walls we put around our existence because somewhere deep down, we’ve convinced ourselves it’s “nature” or “instinct”.

The aspiration for equality is an almost utopian ideology at this point, it’s like when people from different countries say they have god given rights. They’re made up constructs.

Then it becomes tools that we can use to oppress and inflict our selfish personal desires. We can use the very language we have created to define and express ourselves to invalidate and belittle one another.

It’s like you said, patriarchy is a vague concept, but to a self-professed feminist who believes they are a victim of a male dominated environment, that word probably has negative connotations.

Whereas to others who intended the use of the word patriarchy, it’s meaning has positive values. Ultimately we we as humans develop these things into language viruses. The same with religion in some aspects, it puts up invisible walls and creates deadlocks. I hope I made some sort of sense lol