This will either get buried or deleted because of the serious tag. But I don't have an answer to this question. I started reading this thread because of the people who would click on it. I used to have a strong faith in God. At some level I still do. I realize I am lucky, some people call it blessed but I don't know.

My faith was beaten down and dragged through the dirt. Between years of college at a "Christian" university where I saw hypocrites and posers every single day of my life, my absolute best friend ( who was a huge part of me finding God in the first place) giving in to paranoid schizophrenia and shooting himself, my drinking problem I've dealt with since his death, and just overall doubt and confusion about the world around me, I don't know if God exists. I don't know if there is a higher power, or I was just randomly born in a place where the idea of God was beaten in to me from a young age and I never had a chance of believing otherwise. I want to believe there's a higher creator out there who is guiding me, who created this amazing world and loves me. But how can I be so blessed while others suffer through so much more than I have. How can so many people preach intolerance of others, outright hate others because they want to love someone of the same sex, or because a girl can't handle a child and has no alternative but to abort.

I see a lot of one time instances in this thread, miracles happened that changed their lives. And that's awesome, amazing even. I'm happy for them. But that didn't happen for me. There's no moment of crisis where God came in and saved me. I am calling out to the ones who live, through all the shit life throws at us, and still truly believe there is God that loves you, that sees you as one of his children, that protects us through all of the shit in the world.

I know there are others that have had it far worse than I have, I just want a real perspective, a real person to explain to me how they do it. I want to believe, I want to build my faith back up on sturdier ground. So how do you know? How do you do it, day after day? How did you build your faith and keep it standing strong?