I realized that, on top of my anxiety and depression, I have a a horrible anger management issue. Unfortunately, this was discovered all at the same time during one of my best/worst relationships. When I was in this mood she did what she could to calm me down but it never worked, and at this point I wish she would have just let me walk and take sometime to let me get my head straighter than it was in those moments. My anger (and lack of control) lead me to do things that I never saw myself doing and don't think I can forgive myself for.

(I don't blame anything besides myself and my actions.) I ended up ending things with her because of my actions and didn't want anyone suffering for things I was doing. I don't think I will ever be able to trust myself in a meaningful relationship because of how powerful the emotions can't get.