I have pedophilic tendencies and rape fantasies.
One time, I (I was 19 at the time) followed a girl (about 11/12) on crooks, who I randomly saw in the street into the building of my dentist (there are many different doctors there) while thinking about raping her, I was thinking about taking her to the basement, having scouted some time ago beforehand. I had duct tape and wireholders in my backpack. It would've been so easy since nobody is walking around in the building and I was a lot stronger than her and would've been able to keep her still. I was literally salivating as I stood behind her as we were waiting for the elevator. But then I hesitated as I didn't want to hurt her and suddenly it flashed before my mind, how pale and destroyed she would become if I really raped and broke her. I didn't want that and I was terrified of my thoughts and what they implicated.
As I began sweating the elevator arrived and she stepped into it and turned around. She didn't say a word, she just looked at me with those big shy eyes and then the door closed.

A year later, I was getting home late, I don't remember from what exactly but it was 1am and dark. As no more buses were driving, I had to take an extra stop with the train and walk from there. As I was walking home I noticed a girl walking before me. She was about the same age as me as far as I could tell in the darkness and streetlights. I kept myself at some distance from her, but while we were walking I again thought about pulling her from the road and raping her in the woods. I had an erection the whole time while walking behind her. I would've definitely been able to. But again as I closed the distance to her, apparently she didn't notice me, and walked really close behind her and held my hand out to grab her, I just thought, that I shouldn't do this. My hand brushed against her back and I sped my steps up a great deal and walked past her, not even looking her in the face. I wanted to forget what just happened and put earphones in my ears and listened to music really loud as I hurried home.

Also I touched my cousin between the legs, while she was asleep as I was babysitting her. I don't think she realized (She was 6 at the time) Never done it again and we like each other as far as I can tell (after this happened she took me to her room with her friend and we had alot of fun as I made up stories about wood animals and we all sat under the blanket and laughed. No sexual context or anything.)