3. [Serious] What is something you are doing that is hurting those you love, but yo...

[Serious] What is something you are doing that is hurting those you love, but you can't stop doing it? Why can't you stop?

Not being a 'family person'. I know my parents would want me to contact them more, talk to them more, visit them more often (my SO and I live abroad), etc. etc. but I really just... 'don't care' about being in contact all the time.

I'm not very good at 'small talk', and really, talking on Skype for 1.5 about basically nothing or exactly the same as last month doesn't do it for me. That also has to do with the fact that we basically have nothing in common. Our lives are completely different: different views on health, priorities, spending the day (when together), and spending a lot of time with them usually comes with a lot of frustration from both sides, but mainly that of my SO and me. We always end up being the ones who adjust to what they want to do, and how they live their lives, but the other way around is no real option, not even when they're visiting us. They say they do, and want to, but then continue to complain and say they know things better (when they really don't) or are 'disappointed'.

Best example of this is when they insisted on coming to visit us for a day/night when they were 'in the neighbourhood' on holiday. On a weekday, when we, you know, work. I said I would be more than happy to welcome them in the afternoon, we would go for a nice meal in the evening, have a few nice drinks and a chat, they would sleep in the guest bedroom, but in the morning we both had to go to work again, my husband a bit earlier than me. The 'afternoon' bit was an immediate concern: apparently I didn't WANT them there. Detail: I work from home a lot, but that still means work, and having to do things. If I were to work in the office that day, evening would be the best I could do, so afternoon was already a bonus. They didn't see it that way.

The day of arrival they texted me with passive aggressive messages saying "are we allowed in yet...?".. Dinner went down the same way. "You order, as we don't know what to get!" We order "oh, I wanted this and this"... WELL THEN SAY SO...! Etc. after which we added it to the order, after which he refused to eat it "because we knew better.."

Getting back home they were tired, so went to bed almost immediately, no spending some extra time to chat.. The morning after, my SO left for work at 8, and I had an appointment at 9.30, so had to leave around 9. I made sure everything was ready for them for breakfast, EVERYTHING!!!! And then my mum had the nerve to complain about 2 things: 1. WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN WITH US FOR A NICE LAZY BREAKFAST? and 2. I HOPED YOU WOULD SPEND THE DAY WITH US TODAY.... After telling them MULTIPLE TIMES that the day they wanted to visit was a busy one..

Don't get me wrong, they do everything for me, love me, and I love them back, but we're not made to spend a lot of time together as our perceptions of 'life' or something are just incompatible... The same goes when they had booked their flights after us buying a house, even before getting the keys, because they were excited to see the house. They didn't really consider us still living in a dump without a kitchen and a priority to get things underway and up and running before we invite people over. :(

Sorry for the rant. Nobody will read it probably, but sometimes it's nice to vent...

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