I'm posting this as a mixed girl raised by white parents (adopted) in the South. I know some people will overlook my comment because I'm only half black, but I think I can offer an interesting perspective into this question.

First, if you're mixed black and white, more than likely you're going to be considered "black" by other people (I mean, look at Obama, he's biracial, yet considered black). Although a large part of me identifies mostly with white people because of my family, there's the aspect of being black that always made me feel different and relate more with black people in other aspects.

Growing up, I always hated that I was half black. I especially HATED my hair, because it was afro-textured. I used to wish all the time that I could wake up the next day and be born some different race. These feelings followed me until a couple of years ago, and I'm now 22. I used to always get comments from white people, "oh, you sound so WHITE". To me, this translates as "if you speak correctly, eloquently, or politely then you're speaking like a white person". In other words, speaking correctly is not a "black" thing, for we must all sound ghetto, right? Also heard a fair share of white friends say "I'm so glad I'm not black". Ouch. It also didn't help hearing crushes that I had at my predominantly-white school reject me on the basis that they "didn't like black girls". I mean, you can't help what you like and don't like, but it still hurt.

You see, black people have TERRIBLE media representation. It's always the thugs, the criminals, the sassy angry black woman, and other stereotypes. What do little black girls and boys have to look up to? A bunch of "good" white role models. It was engrained in my head that to be beautiful as a little girl you had to be white. Surely a lot of people have heard of the doll experiment, in which some black children are asked to pick out a "good" doll among dolls of different skin tones. They say the white doll is the "good" doll, and the black doll is the "bad" doll. Like I said, it starts at a young age.

People don't understand how damaged the psyche is of a lot of black people in this country. It starts from a very young age. If you knew the amount of skin bleaching and harsh chemicals put into hair to conform to this white-based society, then maybe you'd understand. I'm not saying that getting your hair relaxed (chemically straightened) is a bad thing, but it becomes an issue when you feel like you HAVE to get it done, or a job turns you down because your hair is too "wild" in it's natural state.

Thanks to the internet in more recent years, I finally made peace with myself. Finally, I saw beautiful women of all different colors and saw that a lot of black/mixed women are going "natural" with their hair. I also went natural with my hair (but if you want relaxed hair and weave, I'm not judging) and I feel great about who I am. There's a lot of documentaries about the black hair industry, and it can be really eye opening if you aren't aware of why hair is such a big ass deal for a lot of black women.

Still, sometimes, I feel like I have to go the extra mile to prove to people that I'm not "ghetto," and that I really worked my ass off to be in my university. Things are getting better, though. I don't want any white people to be offended over what I said because my white family (who are all amazing) and some white friends have always supported me!

P.S. Sorry that this is so fucking long.