In middle school, I was horribly overweight, acne-ridden, and thanks to an accident a few years before, had a couple chipped teeth. Needless to say, I wasn't very popular. Once I was 16, I had my teeth capped and lost about 60lbs. I didn't escape my reputation until college- my high school experience was horrible.
I left my past behind, and to my surprise, in college, many found me pretty, friendly, and funny. I was too scared to do much my freshman year, but I was a full-blown party girl by sophomore year. I had way too many 'friends' to count (could not pick one out from a crowd today), my grades dipped, and I got kind of cocky.
I lived in NYC for about 6 years during this time. I knew and dated famous people, millionaires, models- it was crazy, I felt invincible ( I have so many unbelievable stories). Every night was filled with smoking, alcohol, and drugs. The tab would range anywhere from $300 to $1200 a night. I remember once, I skipped class for a month and just partied. My roommate and I literally did not see the sun for an entire month- We would wake up at 8pm, eat, shower, get ready, party until 4am, eat again, then knock out in a drunken stupor.
She was gorgeous. We both were. Hell- all our friends were. I've been proposed to at least four times myself. It was an amazing, dangerous, reckless, thrilling, and fun time.
I've since settled down far away from home with a wonderful man. I don't regret anything, and I don't talk about my past much. I hardly remember it most of the time... But I've been thinking about it more lately. I'm 30 soon, and I can't believe how fast time went... I think I really thought I was going to be 22 forever lol.
My mortality has been on my mind lately. Not everyone you start with sticks around. I look around at my apartment, my job, etc... I'm happy, but it's sad knowing how much has changed, and how much will continue to change.
I get tired now, and I'm about 15 lbs heavier now then I was then. I don't wear as much make up and I dress pretty terribly... And I sure as hell don't get away with what I used to back then. I don't try anymore either. I can't believe the balls I had, sometimes!
Life giveth, then taketh.
Sometimes I feel like Bebe's mom. At least I had a good start in High School, since I was ignored- I was able to be a good student and actually pay attention. I totally fucked up college, and pretty much retarded myself. I stopped trying too, since I would get things handed to me all the time.