I want to have sex with roughly 80% of all men I interact with, this brings shame and awkwardness to all my relationships(

I think there's a range of interest. My boyfriend says he's attracted to 80% of women he sees, but he's not interested in actually hooking up. He values being in a monogamous relationship. I'm not sure why that's important to him, but he says it is. Hopefully he's being honest with me.

I'm not interested in most people, and I seem more interested in sex than him, I've historically had a high sex drive, but my interest remains only with the person I'm with.

My biggest concern is that I've been cheated on, been with people whose partners fell short and while I was allegedly better or cared more, that partner was the person they wanted to be with, not me, just that they wished that partner was more like me, or been with ambivalent guys who stayed with me till they found someone more interesting.

They are not as interested in sex as I am, probably because they were ambivalent about me (so not as sexually attracted) and also inexperienced (it gets tiring when they enjoy it and I'm not getting much out of it, but that was how I temporarily got their attention, was held and had affection, I guess much like women who have sex with multiple men).

I feel like no one has my values or believes in them, and that people keep taking giant shits on me. I have a lot of days where I feel unloved, worthless, treated like a welcome mat, that I won't find the strange unicorn who is my perfect (or good enough) mate.

I'm pretty much thinking this current guy doesn't give a rat's ass about me and he's going to shit on me like all the others and I'm just done. I just want to be dead rather than go through this bullshit and wind up alone watching everyone else fucking get what they want and need and me getting tossed in the corner like I'm worth nothing.

I've had friends and acquaintances who are poly and they have a range of ways they handle it. They have a spouse or a main, and friends that they have sex with, others freely hook up with whomever (one person proclaimed to me that her husband was the love of her life, but they were both sluts and loved sex), others still meet people, but there is veto power. Really this seems to be a time where you can create the types of relationships you want. Some people seem satisfied that they're getting what they want or need, monogamous or otherwise.

/r/BPD Thread