Should I hold him to his 2 year old promise?

The first ring didn’t mean anything to him and the second means less; so much so that it never even came to fruition. Why would he want to divorce? You take care of his parents and provide him free childcare. Why would he go back to therapy? He considers you too weak to put fire under him and make him.

Why would you make him? Why would you drag a man unwilling to piece together a relationship that he didn’t respect from even prior to the birth of your child. This man does not love you but I’ll tell you one thing - he absolutely needs you. Without you, he has jobs, he has expenses, he is forced to care for his own parents and child.

It’s a damn good thing his business is doing well - optimal time to sell it and split the worth. You don’t have money to go? Well you certainly will. You file for divorce and show your daughter that her mama doesn’t hold down the fort to a man that doesn’t pay her a damn bit of respect. As she grows up she will look to you both as examples of what to look for in her own relationships later on down the line. As she gets older she’ll learn more about the dynamic you and your boyfriend share and that will be the model she applies to her own standards with regard to a partner. Would you encourage her to put up with it. I do not think you would. And you shouldn’t.

He doesn’t love you. You don’t deserve to slave at home to keep his life carefree. Break the ties that bind you to his will and be free. You can look for love later if you see fit but for now, just be free from the uncertainty. Be free from the anger of premeditated and secret betrayal. Be free from wondering how you can get a man that has nothing to offer you to commit his life to you. You don’t want that. You don’t want his ring. You don’t want his promise.

Take your daughter and be amicable with him for her sake. Set up shared custody or visitation. Tie the loose ends and then breathe a sigh of relief that you no longer have to try to sell yourself to a man with empty pockets. He’s got nothing to give and you’re far too valuable to waste your time wishing he’d claim ownership. He doesn’t think you’re good enough to marry but you’re damn sure good enough to do the hard shit so he can get ahead with his business. Take what he owes you and use it to build yourself and your daughter the life he doesn’t care enough to offer either of you. You don’t need him. Hell you don’t even have him. When you finally realize that he intentionally didn’t bind himself to you, you can then realize how easy it is to leave him. I hope you leave him. You’re better than to be tucked away and used as a nanny.

/r/relationship_advice Thread