Simple Steak, Potatoes & Asparagus

It looks like it belongs in the opening credits of Hannibal.

Like you killed a pregnant lady, ripped the fetus out, cooked her fetus, then tried to make the resulting plate look like a pregnant ladies belly again, with roasted fetus inside. Because you thought it would impress Hannibal.

But Hannibal is not impressed. He thinks your asparagus looks overcooked and floppy and your potatoes are inelegant and not evenly roasted and the steak itself in not rested enough and there are pieces of green onion that were bruised by the knife but not cut through and no wine pairing.

Because he finds your presentation garish and, dare I say, rude, he probably creates a tableau where he has actually cut open your mothers belly, roasted you like a steak, and then put you inside her belly.

Then he probably took your ear, and cooked it at a low temperature for many hours until the cartiladge broke down and became tender and delicious like a chickens foot. He probably plated it like your picture, but with delicious, well cooked white asparagus garnished with properly cut chives and a bit of lemon zest, a few dabs of Joel Robuchons mashed potatoes (but double the butter) and a nice pinot grigio to offset the richness of your roasted ear and the buttery potato.

I bet he even left you alive, so you're roasted and burned, but come out of the anesthesia he put you under just as the detectives find the scene. That way, he can degrade you further by manipulating the detectives into seeing you be reborn in the image of your hidious plate of food. This is my design.

And then you probably are communicating with the detectives with blinks, but don't remember your killer, until you see hannibal talking to them. But he probably comes in the room to kill you by choking you to death with the other roasted ear before the detectives notice your frantic blinks to signal you remember who did this too you.

All because you had to plate your food this way.

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