Socially inept man makes woman uncomfortable in a meetup group – what to do, if anything?

FYI, it's not a woman's job to turn a man into someone who is socially competent.

The tone of this comment is truly disheartening. There are people who are awkward regardless of gender, and many of them are slow to figure it out. Refusing to communicate with them helps no one because unless they are clearly told that their behavior is inappropriate they will remain unaware that they have broken social protocol.

That's true. However, right now we are discussing a man who is being inappropriate toward a woman. There are things to consider in this particular context that do not apply when the genders are swapped.

True, a man may find being the target of a socially awkward person's focused attention just as weird and even possibly threatening. Also, yes, men are not raised to be callous monsters and may feel obligated to be kind.

The HUGE difference between a guy being the target of so much unwanted attention and a woman being the target of so much unwanted attention is that the woman has far, far more social pressure to "be nice". Little boys are taught to be nice, but also to be bold, to speak their mind, and so on. In social environment, they are rewarded for speaking up. Things may be slowly changing now, but a lot of women who have already reached maturity at 2015 were raised with a much heavier emphasis on being nice, on being quiet, on being still, on not "making things about themselves" and on being accommodating of people, as well as fewer positive reactions to speaking their minds. This woman grew up at a time where it was even more common for sexist men (and women) to squash this type of behavior and promote all of the others.

Another HUGE difference is that a lot of women are afraid that some men may become angry, mean, or even violent when they are told by a woman to end their unwanted attention. Socially awkward people aren't the types of men most women find most likely to react politely because politeness requires an understanding of social etiquette. A guy who keeps asking me questions in a group setting despite me trying to make it clear I don't want that sort of attention is the same kind of guy I may be afraid could follow after me in the parking lot.

/r/TwoXChromosomes Thread