My situation is quite unique in that I sought out medical help for my condition at 18, but due to horrible gatekeeping, I didn't actually start recieving appropriate medical treatment until I was nearly 30. As such, I've never had a social life, never had a relationship, and never worked "as a man" either. I was disowned at 15 through refusing to live as a man, so I've never really lived "as a man", and I was a loner as a child, so my childhood was certainly not one that could be associated with a normal boyhood. I do really wish Id been able to start medical treatment for my dysphoria in my mid-teens, but that wasnt to be. In the end, I can perfectly understand why a straight man wouldn't want to date me, and there's no way I could ever date anyone who was primarily attracted to me because he sees me as "trans" so I never even entertain the idea of dating. But I'm okay with that now, I think once you've reached my age never experiencing that kind of thing, you just reach the stage where you say you can't miss what you've never had.