You look like you were really into theatre but had to settle for some bullshit consultant/accounting job that consists of you being yes man because you’ve cornered yourself in position you can never get out of. You swear that you’ll leave the job and pursue your dreams of being an actor someday, but you never will because you reach higher for chips at the store than you do for your goals.

You need to get more sleep, your eyes look like you’ve been ratfucking a bag of Doritos at 3am playing Fortnite with your nephews who are infinitely cooler than you ever will be. Also, work harder on your chest because your nips look like a dinner plate for two.