I'm late forties and recently single. I've considered becoming a coach but it's seriously unregulated and as you've seen directly, bad coaches can do a ton of damage, on top of whatever you wanted assistance for in the first place. And it's a shame; from what I've seen in my research the worst can also be brilliant marketing machines, so they potentially affect (and do occasionally help) a LOT of people.
You have to understand that marketing itself is often solidly based on the premise that there is something wrong with the consumer, a pain point, which marketing then sets out to persuade you its services or product can fix or relieve. If the pain point is in us from family and other abuse, that's a potential field day for the marketer. They can be subtle or outright abusive themselves in getting you to buy what they're peddling.
I have a lot of interest in and admiration for the mechanics of marketing, but I also hate it very much. And what your coach said to you was all completely abusive, and low. I wish I could advise how to retaliate against this type of coach and get your money back, but so far I have never figured that out, which is one of the reasons I will forego that career. There needs to be a governing body but the field is sprawling and as far as I can tell, filled with unaccredited and unsuitable "experts". For a better and self paced experience in dating coaches, I recommend Evan Marc Katz. Zero shaming; the program content is accessible for life; you proceed through his content and exercises at your own pace and comfort. Also affordable and offers payment plans; no outrageous upselling like some of the other notable dating coaches do. His programs are only for women, as far as I know. But he's good.
About other Ns or PD people in your life, gosh, get away from those people as much as you can. Sometimes it takes years to find our true friendships. For me the best and most supportive friends have been older women I've known through work, most of them married, all of them with their own faith expression and belief in God. I never would have gravitated toward that in my 30s or younger, but these women all have been a blessing throughout my 40s. No judgment about singlehood, no forcing men on me, just a kind and deep trust in my abilities and path, with encouragement and support along the way as needed. They often almost bring me to tears with how suddenly they will validate me or my experience, in ways I've never heard. They are observant and laugh a lot at life's trials and joys, and have helped me learn how to do that safely too. In short, if your own peer group isn't offering quality friendship, level up a few years (6 to 20), and you'll find people who have suffered their own difficulties a decade or two longer, and who have found a gentler, stronger, more self caring and outwardly generous way to cope with all of it. What you will bring to them besides affection and trust will likely be your fresh perspective, and your own troubles or confusions or hurts, which will give them a beautiful opportunity to tell you their own younger story and its resolution, which helps them process it further and make good use of old pain. Some will be bossy and some very gentle. You'll know which ones are full of love.
I know how it feels to think you are too [anything] to attract a good man. The truth is it's not true. I'm taking a long timeout to get back to myself until I feel like I'm ready to even consider sharing my life with a man again. During this timeout so far, I'm clear I have a lot to offer in relationship. So do you. And no matter what age you are, there's enough time for you to take your time.
For all the trauma you've endured, including recent trauma like bad friendships and a detestable, destructive dating coach, look into EMDR treatment for safe reprocessing and relief from PTSD. I survived similar trauma and really benefited from the EMDR protocol; recognizable results after one session, and by the 12th and final session, amazing result. I should add here that I am in no way affiliated with EMDR products or services, but am just forwarding along a resource that truly helped me heal from considerable and long held pain.
You're going to be ok, and things are going to get better for you. The 30s are full of questioning about what you've accomplished by now and what you still are "supposed" to accomplish. Rest assured and have faith that you are on a forward path, and that love will come. Being single sucks and yet can also be a great opportunity to make your own dreams manifest. You aren't what happened to you. If you can get away from these critical voices, the resulting peace will do you a lot of good.
My answer to anyone's criticizing my dating life would be, "Wow! I'm not sure I understand why you think that is your business!" Then just laugh. Because, who are these people. Their votes totally don't count.
Hugs if you need or want them. There's plenty of time, and you'll find your good people and love. I'm sure of it.