Yeah I went through this myself. My husband was hysterical and even suicidal at one point (had to check him into the psych ward for a night). He would cry and beg and plead every day. He would curse me and call me vile names, and profess his undying love for me, all in the same breath. He'd beg me for sex at first, then in later weeks he'd beg for a modicum of affection, sympathy, a hug, or for me to hold his hand. He'd say, "How can you be so cold to me? Can't you see how much pain I'm in?"

With the help of my therapist I came up with a way to deal with the situation compassionately but with rock-solid boundaries. He was in psychological crisis so it did not feel right to just abandon him completely. However I did not want to give him false hope either, so I promised myself I would not touch him no matter what. I'd sit with him and listen to him. I'd just make sympathetic noises, or at most I'd say, "Yeah, you're going through a lot," or "You'll get through this with time."

After a couple of weeks of this, he became too angry with me to want to continue ranting or begging to me directly. He also regained a sense of stability. That left me free to disengage completely.

The whole time, though, all I wanted to do was to give in and comfort him the way he was asking to be comforted. Old feelings, long force of habit, and just a human kindness that anyone would feel, you know? Those two weeks were the hardest!

But you can do it. Just stand firm. Remember that you may need to be unkind in the short term in order to be kind in more important ways/in the long term.