morbidly obese
they wont usually let you on hrt or have any surgeries if youre morbidly obese anyway. So if you intend to get on hormonal treatment, you better start losing that weight. overweight is one thing, Morbidly obese though? a bmi of 35+ lol. no way they will let you on hrt with a bmi higher than 35.
I can completely acknowledge that some of my social dysphoria comes from my family's concept of 'female'.
lol
I don't want to be a Man or put up with any of the gendered crap that entails anymore than I'd like to be a Woman and deal with any of it.
Physically speaking my body feels too far on the 'girl' scale but I in no way want to swing far out to the 'male' side. Yes I want the body hair, yes I want the voice change and the muscles and the genital growth. But I've no desire to live as a man or socially to 'pass' as one
I'm actually really looking forward to the changes testosterone will bring specifically because I want to bust out the eyeliner and nail polish.
...that makes zero sense.
this whole post. you dont come off as trans to me at all. you're coming off as a gender nonconforming woman to me, who doesnt want to experience sexism and basically thinks that grass is greener (except you dont even want to live as male, or in any way compromise your female anatomy). you want to transition for all of the wrong reasons. dont do it.
transgenderism is based purely on "bodily" side, you need to be uncomfortable with anatomy and actually desire to change it to qualify. instead you think that if you arent seen as male or female you'll escape sexism (which looks to be your goal here). you will not achieve this with hormonal treatments, or surgical treatments. any social issues are an offshoot of the bodily issues, like being gendered male when youre not male in your mind - this is caused by body-issues.
honestly this got way too ranty, Basically you seem more like a tomboy than a man. and only appear to want to transition to escape sexism. you will fuck yourself up by doing so and regret it later.
Also lose the weight, like 70% chance a big part of your "uncomfortness" comes from that. no one actually likes being morbidly obese.