I used to feel this way until I had my first encounter with depression.

I've spent months contemplating suicide almost constantly during my days. I might not think about suicide for a few hours one morning, only to spend the next 10 hours thinking about it. The lack of any positive feeling is so pervasive that it literally envelops your mind. I was living life from weekend to weekend constantly wondering if today was going to be the day I finally put myself first, putting my pain ahead of the potential pain everyone else would feel.

I only stayed alive day after day because I thought about what it would do to my friends and family if I killed myself, that was my only reason for not killing myself.

This went on for months, constant ideation about my eventual suicide. I wanted to kill myself. Honestly, I couldn't wait for the day I nutted up and call it quits, I'd spend hours hating myself, my life, the pointlessness of it all but, suicide was my out, eventually, hopefully soon, I could call it quits. Just like many people look forward to dinner after a hard day of labor I looked forward to commiting suicide after a hard life lived.

As a veteran I know what it's like to live in shitty conditions, doing a shitty job, working with sometimes shitty people (above you) who don't understand the needs or wants of your position, I've been there. I'd take a month of that shit over a week of depression everytime.

After going through a period of persistent depression I don't blame depressed people at all.

You say depressed people are selfish for killing themselves, I think it's the opposite. You are the selfish person for wanting your loved one to continue living, while suffering just so that you don't have to feel sad.