When I was 15 years old me and friends went to a psychic as a laugh, to find out what our future husbands would look like, how many kids we'd have etc. looking back now, I find it hilarious and sad that, that was what we cared about then.

The 'psychic' was a friend of a friend of a school friends mother, she didn't sell her wares, but would do readings from time to time to those she chose.

Anyway, I has my session with the psychic, I was sceptical about it all and I still am....somewhat. I honestly don't remember most of what she said. What I do remember (and only because of events that happened later) is that she said she saw me standing at a kitchen sink holding a knife.

Spooky right? I mean, who hasn't stood at a sink washing the dishes and held a knife.

I was telling my mum this, laughing at how stupid the whole thing was when she got very silent and started trembling. I asked her what was wrong, and started crying because how she was acting scared me.

She wouldn't tell me, but I pushed until she told me. I wish she hadn't.

She told me that when she was 15 (my age at the time) she was raped by her brother in law. She had been staying with her older sister and husband while her parents were on holiday, and after the rape she didn't know what to do, she was/ had been a virgin at the time. And the next night when she was washing the dishes - he came up to her and said 'don't worry, the next time will be better' she pulled a knife out of the sink and held it to him, and told him to never touch her again.

I hated knowing that, I hated him, I hated men, I hated my aunt for marrying him, I hated my grandparents for going on holiday. I hated myself for going to see the 'psychic' and bringing it all up.

Many years have passed now, our whole family has dealt with it. It wasn't easy, people don't like being faced with the disgusting ugliness of sexual abuse - especially if it's happened to someone they love, so they try to not talk about it, to avoid it.