You and me both mate,I think its fair for me to give my reply to all the lovely people who replied to me here https://www.reddit.com/r/sydney/comments/445m9k/sydney_daily_random_discussion_february_05_2016/cznxk6i
Alot of the suggestions people have made are exactly the things I've been doing to get out of the rut that I had been in over the last year but unfortunately they all just seemed to be distractions/substitutes for what I truly am trying to cure myself from.
Essentially I can't help stop feelings of loneliness which stem from troubles with friends and a lifelong non existent love life. even though I am making a fair dinkum effort putting myself out there. It is really hitting me hard now because someone who I have established a very very close friendship with me has essentially cut off all contact with me since she entered into a relationship with a new partner.
Alot of suggestions were having a good support network, unfortunately thats one of the things that have contributed to how sad I've been feeling, the closest friends that I do have I can't help stop the feeling that my existence doesn't matter to them, I mention just how much I appreciate and enjoy their company yet I'd always be the one making the effort in keeping the flame alive in the friendships, and I have mentioned this to them numerous times, but in the end I'm the one making the calls to keep in touch/set up the next time we hang out.
I get that we are all busy in life, especially my friends since they have their partners and closer friends to deal with and they reassure me that they value me as a friend in their lives so I don't make much of a big fuss that I generally have to squeeze in somewhere in there busy schedule when I give up on waiting to hear from them & make the call.
I guess I just don't want to rock the boat and lose them by reminding them over and over to keep in touch.
What I have been doing is I joined a singles social group that I attend 2-3 times a week but it just feels like people are reluctant to make one on one connections outside of the events that are held, its like they are literally only there to find mr/mrs right, but hey I just keep on at it because loneliness isn't going to cure itself by shunning society.
Gym/exercise/hobbies is something I do regularly funnily enough and yes when I'm doing it the endorphins/motivation kick in and I my mind clears up and just focuses on the task at hand but once again once the workout/doing the hobby is over that's it.
I know I'm not the only one but the thing is trying to force yourself in believing that this too shall pass, is something that I've had in my mind for a long time because this has been something I've been struggling with for almost a decade now.
I'm not a bad person I don't sulk my way through life, where ever I go I keep a confident happy demeanour and leave the demons on the inside because hey the only way I can cure loneliness is to keep putting myself out there around people and you're not gonna be attracting others with a negative sad attitude!
I have been going to therapy to address all of this and funnily enough the therapist said that all the things that I've been immersing myself in are things he supports and suggests on me doing to get to my goal. Go figure..
I guess in summary I just want to have someone in my life whether it being a plutonic or romantic relationship that will put the same effort in me as it is that I do for them, makes me wish I was a loner rather than a human that values and craves meaningful social interaction.
I hope things improve for you /u/Weedinator we all just have to keep on fighting our way in life and hopefully the puzzle will eventually fit in its place sooner than later