Well, I'm not happy all around. I'm going to be seeking some professional help due to a 5 - 6 or more year severe depression that is pretty likely I've been going through. Fortunately, I still see the magic in life. I can still feel - even if it's a slight tinge - that mysticality of existence that leaves me in a peaceful sort of awe and joy.

Personally, I've gone deep enough contemplation-wise to finally come to the conclusion that "enlightenment" isn't as godlike and esoteric as people think. "Truth" is subjective, and if one thinks they've found the "truth", they'd best think again because it will shift and melt in their hands. "Enlightenment" won't feel any different, because it's not really a state, but just a brief experience. How you use it is crucial. "Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." Life's the same. It's just how you look at it that makes it different. However, that's part of the magic of life. Subjectivity is beautiful.

I find that action is what'll bring you happiness. That's what brings change. Don't think so much, just join the dance and shine your authentic self to the universe.

Personally I wish there was a bit more rationality here. I don't mean rational in the, "There isn't a God because I've never seen one." Or the, "Because I haven't seen a God, and God is mystical and mysterious, It is real!" way, because those are both irrational. I more mean rationality in the, "Ooh, that was an amazing experience, this is exactly why life is mystical, and I experienced something that could or could not have been "real", but I experienced it nonetheless." Idk though.

Action is my road to happiness is all I can say. I'm taking the steps towards reforming myself. "Truth" is just my stylized articulation/interpretation of how I view life. That's it.