Well, it says right above where I'm writing that posting personal information will get me banned. So I'll write this in third person.
There was once a young man, who was not aware of his strength, or influence. He lived in a sort of blissful unawareness, partook in the beauty presented to him through females and drugs. Unfortunately he was cursed with an illness that would undoubtedly be the precursor to the end of his glory days. Diagnosed later as bipolar type 1 with antisocial (?) schizo-effective disorder- which simply could not be the case, in his 18th year he became "psychotic". This led to a great deal of stress, and it was eventually taken out methodically in his own mind. He believed that he was great, grandiosity plagued his mind with delusion. Why would he wear shoes? They simply weren't for him, in fact, if he didn't wear them, he would form calluses on his feet that would allow him to walk across any type of terrain with ease. Eventually he made his first mistake, not having slept much for the past 3 or 4 days. This mistake would be the undoing of the reputation and status that had allowed him great things in the past. He made this mistake, and was nearly arrested almost immediately. As they pointed their tasers and screamed to get on the ground, he saw the red tracing dots from the pointers and decided that he was not going to be arrested. He took to the streets after he "played dead" with his hands (as they requested) upon his back. He was indeed feeling quite odd and full of energy, and used his 40 meter dash winnings from public school to their full extent. When he was running from several police officers who arrived in a paddy wagon, he heard the first set of barbs get release from a taser. It almost felt natural, as he dodged to the right side without looking and watched as it narrowly avoided him.
Within moments he took a sharp left and found himself behind an unfamiliar house. There was internal debate about whether or not he would climb the roof, or relocate. He chose to run, and headed across the street (a main road might I add). During the escape, he shouted for help, not knowing exactly what he had done - although later he would recognize, though not truly understand the motives of the victim.
As he crossed he looked with success to his left, he had not been seen. Climbing the fence was a relatively large deal as it was very tall and to the best of his memory he had to use the hood of a car to get to the other side. He laid near a community garden, and his Nokia phone started ringing, effectively cancelling out the stealth he had worked oh so hard for. It was the girl he had been seeing for two years, who he had left (in order to have her envy the newest addition) quite suddenly, but called that night to tell her she was indeed the queen to his kingdom. Unfortunately, she would never know the position that he had found himself in, and he was not about to give up his escape because of a ringtone. He held the power button located on top of the phone's body and laid on his back in the dew upon the grass.
He heard dogs, he heard voices, though they seemed they were all legitimate. The dogs were what caused him to vacate, though to this day he knows if he would have maintained this position that his chances of escape were higher. The voices cause him to peer over the (tall) fence. Would you believe me if I told you that he had found himself behind the house where the call to the police had originated? The act of peering had cause a noise, which the policewoman at the door looked towards. He was busted in his own mind, and turned to the right and began to run through a heavily forested area.
At one point he was tripped by the brush, and had a "yard sale", loosing the Nokia cellphone and a pair of glasses he had acquired by accident during the last few days. On a side note, there was moment when a fairly odd friend had asked him if they were special glasses, giving him some type of powers, which he instantly recognized to be true. Without noticing that he had lost these items, he passed through the forest.
Upon exiting, he was confronted by the overweight police officer who would eventually become his victim. The officer was ~100 yards to his right, and he knew that he would be able to outrun this man with ease. As he took off, he noticed that his legs felt light, and this exertion of energy was causing him no distress at all. It felt like floating.
He ran about 800 meters and hopped a fence, in one leap. He didn't make it and immediately fell on his face without so much as a grimace. Looking to his right where the policeman would eventually be, he noticed that there was a wooden stake. This would be perfect for the cop-turned-vampires, one pass through the heart would end this entire ordeal!
He noticed he was right about the ability to escape this particular officer as he stood beside a house and waited for him to arrive at the fence. Wearing blue jeans and an under armor shirt and upon hearing the rattle he sprinted towards the fence, missing his target but injuring the officer.
That was it, but he was not aware of the dire circumstances he had introduced within this action. He walked towards the front of the house and was shocked to hear a voice, saying something along the lines of cease and desist. He turned towards the voice and was struck immediately in his left thigh with his first taze. It disabled him immediately, but ended as soon as it had started and in his own mind proved him temporarily invincible. He stood, laughed and made his way along to the main street where he was greeted with a parade of police cars, ambulances and two taxis which later would attempt to lour him towards eventual capture.
In the parade he remembers playing a harmonica, strangely (although at the time not an unusual event) on his person throughout the entire adventure hoping that he would quite literally be abducted by an unidentified flying object that would pass through the nights sky. He was shot at many times with multiple tasers in the next block, though he was sure that they would not get him. During this period he withdrew the barbs from his chest.
Without tooting his own horn, he would like to describe an experience had during this time in full detail seeing as he was never given the opportunity thus far. He was one with the weapon, and during a succession of fires he watched as the bluish prongs made their way towards him. It seemed as though time had suddenly ceased to exist, and he quite literally knocked the charge out of the air with ease. It was a matter of fact that he was able to do this, and he though has never once been able to recreate the circumstances that allowed him this vision, he knows it to be true regardless.
Eventually he was taken down by what he deems to be an intelligent officer, who made direct contact with the largest muscle in his body from behind. The charge flowed through him differently, and literally took him to the ground. He fell directly on his face, his ability to put his arms up temporarily disabled. It did not feel as one might imagine it would, it simply did not register any sort of feeling. He was quickly surrounded and promptly beaten by several police officers. He had injured one of their own, if you wondered about the severity of this particular beating.
Anyways, that's his story time. He would like me to mention that he was successfully tased a few times that night, and that he will go to his grave knowing that he was able to withstand the amount of current he was witness to.
This took me a while to write, Ham Man. I hope you enjoy it. There's many more chapters to this story, though I haven't had a moment to reflect upon how I should approach documenting this experience.