Thinking about killing myself because this shit will never get better

Life is not all about socializing and it surely has a lot to offer. I know it's very difficult to deal with social anxiety on a daily basis, but I'd suggest that you try to find some meaning in things that don't require direct human interaction, at least for a while until you'll find some strength to deal with your anxiety once more. Give it a break, as trying to do uncomfortable things all the time in the name of self-development seems too exhausting and unsustainable. Try learning something new that doesn't involve socializing or find a solitary hobby that brings you peace of mind and maybe you'll form some meaningful relationships naturally in the process.

/r/socialanxiety Thread