This usually wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for a teenager but since I was always ejaculating on my wall/bed I began to get a bad cockroach infestation there.

...the fuck?

so I tried to kill them by flicking them into a bowl of water and watching them drown.

It scares me to think that this isn't made up. This is 4chan copypasta, right?

so in my mind it made sense that they were my offspring in a way. I actually want kids when I grow up. And this was kind of like that

No, actually this is nothing like that.

I used to bring them food and stuff from the kitchen and play with them by moving them around the room or letting them crawl on me and I just got really emotionally attached to them.

What...? How the fuck...?

How much do your parents hate you right now? Maybe they don't know it was you with a personal cockroach breeding program...but they have to have suspicions. They're probably creepy, too, but this is some next level mental illness. Holy fuck. Get some fucking help.

I mean, seriously, I have to believe this is a copypasta or a random troll post from 4chan just so I can make it through the day.

And even if it is, whyyyyy would you think of that.